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Can you Spot a Cheater? Apparently, there are 5 types of cheaters and very specific reasons why they stray.\u00a0But first, let\u2019s dig into a recent\u00a0celebrity cheating scandal.<\/p>\n
A match made in Victoria\u2019s Secret heaven?<\/strong><\/p>\n It seemed like\u00a0Behati\u00a0tamed the rockstar\u00a0Adam Levine, who had once joked\u00a0\u201cI\u2019ll never get married\u201d\u00a0<\/em>during an interview on The Tonight Show.\u00a0<\/p>\n On the outside, it seemed like a picture-perfect marriage. They had three children, Adam would gush about his love for her: \u201cShe makes me the best person I can be.\u201d<\/p>\n Who would have guessed years later the Maroon5 star would be caught in a cheating scandal amuck with cringey leaked text messages? According to the 5 categories of cheaters in the book\u00a0CheatingLand, Adam Levine is textbook \u201cPeacock\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n The author (who kept his identity anonymous to protect the families he interviewed), interviewed over 60 married individuals who cheated on their partners. He found that adulterers fall under 5 distinct groups.<\/p>\n Dead Bedroomers\u00a0make up the largest group of cheaters: married people who feel that their love life has come to a halt. They feel lonely, unfulfilled, and disconnected from their partner. They long to return to the relationship that was once full of spark and passion.\u00a0<\/p>\n They tend to have one outside partner that helps them satisfy their craving from a break from the routine and normalcy of their marriage. While they are remorseful of their escapades, to them, cheating is an answer to a problem. As long as they don\u2019t get caught, it avoids confrontation and conflict. It means taking their sexual frustration and desire for novelty and stimulation \u2013 into their own hands.<\/p>\n The sad wounded Dead Bedroomer contrasts greatly with the strutting, swaggering, suave Peacock. The second\u00a0largest group of cheaters, peacocks are gluttonous \u2013 they need validation over and over again that they\u2019re sexy, seductive, and special.\u00a0<\/p>\n To Peacocks, cheating feeds them energy and boosts their ego \u2013 cheating reaffirms their power and sexual prowess. The adrenaline rush of sneaking around, and the risk of getting caught are all a part of the exciting charge that makes Peacocks feel alive. In an unconscious way, being the center of the drama is all a part of the exhilaration.\u00a0<\/p>\n They tend to have a high opinion of themselves but are also deeply insecure. They need validation from others constantly.\u00a0They like to feel powerful and the challenge of a hunt. When choosing who to cheat with, they want someone who\u2019s a challenge \u2013 someone who\u2019s too \u2018easy\u2019 doesn\u2019t have the same edge.<\/p>\n Out of all the types of cheaters interviewed in the book, Completers talked about how much they loved their partners the most.\u00a0But despite their love, they feel they need a second relationship to feel fulfilled and complete. They are looking for a yin to their partner\u2019s yang.<\/p>\n They have feelings and needs that are too intense for a single partner to fill, so they seek a second relationship to feel whole.\u00a0<\/p>\n Typically, completers choose lovers who have the opposite personality to their current partner. They do not see their affair partner as a fling. Instead, they develop a strong bond to set the foundation of their relationship.<\/p>\n Revenge cheating is based on the quintessential idea of poetic justice.\u00a0Give them a taste of their own medicine<\/em>, they think.<\/p>\n They\u2019re scorned, motivated by anger and resentment and vengeance is their idea of medicine. They cheat as a reaction to being cheated on. But sometimes they are taking revenge for some other relationship crime. To punish their partner, infidelity is weaponized. Sometimes they feel it\u2019s the only way they can hurt their partner, and in a sense, gives them a sense of control.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Revenge seekers are usually deep in pain, driven by rage and a need for payback.\u00a0<\/p>\n We tend to think of cheating primarily in terms of sexual encounters involving physical intimacy. BUT emotional affairs are just as damaging as physical ones. Emotional connectors have friendships that are sexually charged and extremely intimate. What may have started off as friendship crosses the line into something more.<\/p>\n While they\u2019re not having sex, they\u2019re engaging in other aspects of a romantic relationship. They\u2019re sharing secrets, telling their affair partner things they wouldn\u2019t tell their spouse, they\u2019re keeping the true depth of the relationship hidden \u2013 because deep down, they know they\u2019re crossing a line.\u00a0<\/p>\n Emotional affairs often happen without the two people realizing it. But after one seemingly innocent line is crossed, then another, and they find themselves entangled with their coworker, friend, neighbor\u2026<\/p>\n The exact number is hard to know, but some large surveys report that about 20-25% of men have cheated on their spouses, and 15-20% of women have cheated on their spouses. According to some more recent studies, the number of women cheating is increasing if you include emotional affairs.<\/p>\n Do men and women have different motivations for cheating? Make sure you subscribe to my newsletter as I\u2019ll share the data in the next article.\u00a0<\/p>\n1. DEAD BEDROOMERS:<\/strong><\/h2>\n
2. PEACOCKS<\/strong><\/h2>\n
3. COMPLETERS<\/strong><\/h2>\n
4. REVENGE SEEKERS\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n
5. EMOTIONAL CONNECTORS<\/strong><\/h2>\n
DO ALL MEN CHEAT? DO ALL WOMEN CHEAT?<\/h2>\n