{"id":63071,"date":"2026-03-27T17:29:59","date_gmt":"2026-03-27T17:29:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/reclaiming-the-right-to-self-with-suzy-reading\/"},"modified":"2026-03-27T17:29:59","modified_gmt":"2026-03-27T17:29:59","slug":"reclaiming-the-right-to-self-with-suzy-reading","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/reclaiming-the-right-to-self-with-suzy-reading\/","title":{"rendered":"Reclaiming the Right to Self with Suzy Reading"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div id=\"post-119217\">\n<div class=\"entry-content\">\n<div class=\"tag_wrapper\">Tags: being compliant and obedient, boundaries and self-care, childhood trauma, fear of looking selfish, feeling under obligation, Guilt, highly sensitive person, people pleasing, people pleasing recovery, resentment, resillience, self-advocacy, self-care, self-care vs selfishness, selfishness, The Age of Obedience, toxic resilience<\/div>\n<p>In this week\u2019s episode of\u00a0<em>The Baggage Reclaim Sessions<\/em>,\u00a0I chat with chartered psychologist Suzy Reading, author of How to Be Selfish, about \u201cselfishness\u201d and why reclaiming the right to self is essential for healing our relationship with ourselves and creating reciprocity in our relationships. <\/p>\n<p>We explore how childhood experiences systematically disconnected us from our needs and feelings. From not being allowed to use the bathroom at school to the modern messaging around resilience, gratitude, and post-traumatic growth, these deny authentic human expression and make us feel guilty for struggling. Been afraid that self-care makes you selfish? Felt stuck in the cycle of depletion while waiting for others to notice? Struggling to articulate your needs because there\u2019s so much conversation in your head but little coming out of your mouth? This episode offers permission and practical guidance for living like you matter too.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Embed Player\" src=\"https:\/\/play.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/40644290\/height\/192\/theme\/modern\/size\/large\/thumbnail\/yes\/custom-color\/2d3541\/time-start\/00:00:00\/playlist-height\/200\/direction\/backward\/download\/yes\/font-color\/FFFFFF\" height=\"192\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"\" webkitallowfullscreen=\"true\" mozallowfullscreen=\"true\" oallowfullscreen=\"true\" msallowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border: none;\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-black-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-bc4823cc4d26184891b59309e5218e62\" id=\"h-in-this-episode\" style=\"background-color:#e3fb70\">IN THIS EPISODE\u2026<\/h3>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>You\u2019re not selfish by creating healthier boundaries and honouring yourself.<\/strong> The traditional understanding of selfish is someone who prioritises only themselves to the detriment or exploitation of others. But resting after caring for others all day, voicing preferences, saying no to requests, or accepting offered help, these aren\u2019t selfish acts; they\u2019re self-advocacy.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Childhood conditioning systematically disconnects us from our bodies and needs.<\/strong> We\u2019re raised to believe certain feelings and needs make us less than, that compliant is \u201cgood\u201d and anything that doesn\u2019t fit is \u201cbad\u201d. <\/li>\n<li><strong>Toxic resilience and gratitude messaging deny authentic human experience. <\/strong>Modern messaging around resilience, gratitude, and post-traumatic growth has twisted into expecting people to be unaffected by life, grow through everything they go through, and feel guilty for struggling when others have it worse. This \u201csuffering Olympics\u201d creates emotional bypassing, where you skip over real feelings to appear resilient, compare your messy insides to others\u2019 polished outsides, and dismiss your own wounds without acknowledging them.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Resentment stems from unvoiced disappointment or an unmet need.<\/strong> When there\u2019s a gap between what you want to do and what you feel obliged to do, resentment builds. For highly sensitive people who naturally read and meet others\u2019 needs before they\u2019re voiced, rage builds when that\u2019s not reciprocated.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Small acts of self-connection have cumulative power.<\/strong> Coming home to yourself doesn\u2019t require elaborate self-care routines. Simple practices like asking \u201cHow am I doing today?\u201d, the face hug exercise for tenderness, noticing when you haven\u2019t eaten or used the bathroom, feeling sunlight on your skin, or sending a connection text build into tiny habits that communicate \u201cI\u2019m somebody who pays attention to myself\u201d.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading has-black-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-884c87d5f96580d6d964a68f2053b6e3\" id=\"h-links-mentioned-and-recommended-resources\" style=\"background-color:#e3fb70\"><strong>LINKS MENTIONED AND RECOMMENDED RESOURCES<\/strong><\/h4>\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Suzy Reading\u2019s Instagram, where you can enjoy her daily love notes. <\/li>\n<li>Suzy\u2019s latest book, How to Be Selfish<\/li>\n<li>More of Suzy\u2019s books: Rest to Reset and This Book Will Help Make You Happy<\/li>\n<li>My book, The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want<\/li>\n<li>Embrace Healthy Boundaries: An audio course about boundaries for people who\u2019ve lost themselves trying to keep everyone else happy.<\/li>\n<li>Ep. 242: But Will You Get Into Trouble? (and the Age of Obedience)<\/li>\n<li>Ep. 307: Why Resentment Shows Up and What to Do About It<\/li>\n<li>Ep. 276: New Year, New No, and Recognising the Dark Side of People Pleasing<\/li>\n<li>Ep. 248: Keeping It Real About Self-Esteem<\/li>\n<li>Ep. 229: Burning Out from Being There for Others<\/li>\n<li>Ep. 71: Career Stuckness, <strong>The Self-Care Sandwich<\/strong>, Irrational Jealousy<\/li>\n<li>Ep. 233: Eek, Am I Doing Self-Care Wrong?<\/li>\n<li>Ep. 219: You Are Allowed to Rest<\/li>\n<li>From Emotional Shutdown to Self-Compassion: My Self-Care Evolution<\/li>\n<li>Knowing the Line Between Putting Yourself First and Being \u201cSelfish\u201d<\/li>\n<li>We Need to Talk About \u201cSelfish\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Having Needs and Boundaries Doesn\u2019t Make You a Bad Person<\/li>\n<li>These \u201cgood qualities\u201d you cling to, why aren\u2019t you benefiting from them?<\/li>\n<li>My book, 100 Days of Baggage Reclaim, is packed with the small acts of self-connection that build into higher self-esteem and more loving relationships and experiences <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading has-black-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-175d3c6a5acf67959175fbbe80497a35\" id=\"h-support-the-podcast\" style=\"background-color:#e3fb70\">SUPPORT THE PODCAST<\/h4>\n<p>Donate to the podcast tip jar<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading has-black-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-19a2ee716129f66e110c7e2477a09d47\" id=\"h-connect-with-me\" style=\"background-color:#e3fb70\">CONNECT WITH ME<\/h4>\n<p><!-- relpost-thumb-wrapper --><!-- close relpost-thumb-wrapper --><span class=\"wpfp-span\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/baggagereclaim.co.uk\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-favorite-posts\/img\/heart.png\" alt=\"Favorite\" title=\"Favorite\" class=\"wpfp-img\"\/><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/baggagereclaim.co.uk\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-favorite-posts\/img\/loading.gif\" alt=\"Loading\" title=\"Loading\" 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Sessions,\u00a0I chat with chartered psychologist Suzy Reading, author [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":63072,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_daextam_enable_autolinks":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-63071","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Episode-308-How-to-Be-Selfish-Reclaiming-the-Right-to-Self-with-Suzy-Reading-The-Baggage-Reclaim-Sessions-with-Natalie-Lue-banner-.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63071","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=63071"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63071\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/63072"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=63071"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=63071"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diyhaven858.wasmer.app\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=63071"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}