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Do you want a deeper relationship connection with a partner or spouse but are finding that it\u2019s difficult or maybe even impossible right now?<\/p>\n
Or maybe you\u2019ve struggled in past relationships to keep your connection and love alive and haven\u2019t known what to do\u2026<\/p>\n
If so, we\u2019ve got 3 practical suggestions for you today and a\u00a0quick example from our coaching files (used with permission) of how connection can get lost and what you can do about it when it happens to you\u2026<\/p>\n
Pete worked long hours in a new job and when he came home, he just wanted to relax and numb out.<\/p>\n
Jo, his partner of many years, was aware of his needs and understood but she still missed connecting with him in ways they did earlier in their relationship.<\/p>\n
Jo knew the dangers of trying to control Pete (you can\u2019t \u201ccontrol\u201d another person and she knew it)\u2026<\/p>\n
But she missed him and secretly feared their relationship was going down a dark road that they\u2019d never get out of\u2013and she didn\u2019t know what to do.<\/p>\n
She\u2019d tried ignoring her feelings and was \u201cunderstanding\u201d but deep inside she was afraid that he didn\u2019t care anymore.<\/p>\n
She\u2019d also tried telling him how she felt but even though he seemed to understand\u00a0 and said he still loved her, nothing changed.<\/p>\n
When they came to us for help, it was clear that the two of them cared for one another but had totally different ideas of what \u201cconnection\u201d meant.<\/p>\n
Jo felt connected to Pete when he slowed down, looked at her, listened to her and shared with her something that was emotionally true for him.<\/p>\n
Pete felt connected to Jo when they were on the same \u201cwave length\u201d while they were doing projects together.<\/p>\n
It was easy to see why they were struggling but\u2026<\/p>\n
Why is feeling connected so important in a love relationship?<\/p>\n
When you feel connected to another person, you relax and open to being who you truly are.<\/p>\n
And when you do that, you can freely feel love as well as give love in ways that you can\u2019t when you\u2019re holding back because you don\u2019t feel a connection with someone.<\/p>\n
This doesn\u2019t mean that love isn\u2019t there when there\u2019s no connection.<\/p>\n
Love can always be there but if and when connection happens, life and relationships are so much more fun and rewarding.<\/p>\n
So what did we tell Jo and Pete to help them connect?<\/p>\n
If you can relate, here are 3 ways to create a relationship connection when it hasn\u2019t been easy\u2026<\/h2>\n1. Know that your partner may have a different definition of connection<\/span> than you do<\/span><\/h3>\nJust like Jo and Pete, you and your partner may have different ideas of what connecting as a couple means. Get curious and find out both your definitions\u2013and don\u2019t make your partner\u2019s way wrong.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re finding that you don\u2019t have the \u201cright\u201d words to say to spark this kind of discussion, check out \u201cMagic Relationship Words.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n2. It\u2019s normal to go in and out of connection<\/span><\/h3>\nNo couple stays connected 100% of the time so don\u2019t expect it. Know that it\u2019s \u201cnormal\u201d for connection to come and go. Relax in the knowing that connection can come back again if it seems to be missing right now.<\/p>\n
3. Acknowledge it when you feel a connection<\/span><\/h3>\nSo often, when connection has been lacking or even missing, the focus is on what\u2019s NOT there. In fact, it seems that our human default is to focus on what\u2019s \u201cwrong\u201d vs. what\u2019s \u201cright\u201d.<\/p>\n
When this happens, you can let brief moments fly by undetected without even realizing it.<\/p>\n
Jo and Pete realized that there were moments when they did feel connected with one another even though they were few and far between.<\/p>\n
When they began to consciously focus on recognizing when they felt close to one another, they began to feel that more of the time.<\/p>\n
When they stopped blaming one another, they could open their hearts to loving more.<\/p>\n
Connection a funny thing.<\/p>\n
You can feel it making eye contact with a stranger.<\/p>\n
You can feel it when someone does something kind for you.<\/p>\n
You can feel it when kind words of appreciation are spoken.<\/p>\n
In this day of media overload, connection is so precious and often missing.<\/p>\n
Our advice for you whether you\u2019re currently in an intimate relationship or not\u2026<\/p>\n
Find ways to connect with those you care about and interact with.<\/p>\n
If you do, our promise to you is that your life will be so much richer and happier.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re struggling with connecting with a partner or someone else,<\/h3>\ncontact us here for new ideas about how to connect\u2026<\/h3>\n
<\/p><\/div>\n
Just like Jo and Pete, you and your partner may have different ideas of what connecting as a couple means. Get curious and find out both your definitions\u2013and don\u2019t make your partner\u2019s way wrong.<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re finding that you don\u2019t have the \u201cright\u201d words to say to spark this kind of discussion, check out \u201cMagic Relationship Words.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n No couple stays connected 100% of the time so don\u2019t expect it. Know that it\u2019s \u201cnormal\u201d for connection to come and go. Relax in the knowing that connection can come back again if it seems to be missing right now.<\/p>\n So often, when connection has been lacking or even missing, the focus is on what\u2019s NOT there. In fact, it seems that our human default is to focus on what\u2019s \u201cwrong\u201d vs. what\u2019s \u201cright\u201d.<\/p>\n When this happens, you can let brief moments fly by undetected without even realizing it.<\/p>\n Jo and Pete realized that there were moments when they did feel connected with one another even though they were few and far between.<\/p>\n When they began to consciously focus on recognizing when they felt close to one another, they began to feel that more of the time.<\/p>\n When they stopped blaming one another, they could open their hearts to loving more.<\/p>\n Connection a funny thing.<\/p>\n You can feel it making eye contact with a stranger.<\/p>\n You can feel it when someone does something kind for you.<\/p>\n You can feel it when kind words of appreciation are spoken.<\/p>\n In this day of media overload, connection is so precious and often missing.<\/p>\n Our advice for you whether you\u2019re currently in an intimate relationship or not\u2026<\/p>\n Find ways to connect with those you care about and interact with.<\/p>\n If you do, our promise to you is that your life will be so much richer and happier.<\/p>\n <\/p><\/div>\n2. It\u2019s normal to go in and out of connection<\/span><\/h3>\n
3. Acknowledge it when you feel a connection<\/span><\/h3>\n
If you\u2019re struggling with connecting with a partner or someone else,<\/h3>\n
contact us here for new ideas about how to connect\u2026<\/h3>\n