Most people don’t like to think about death — or about the death of their spouse. But there are very real financial risks to avoiding the conversation, particularly if one partner handles most financial matters.
If you haven’t had that conversation, a surviving spouse may struggle to locate financial documents or access accounts, leaving them vulnerable to missed bill payments, delayed insurance payouts and mismanaged investments.
Among newly widowed older adults, nearly one-quarter of homeowners still carry mortgage debt, while 70% of renters face high housing costs, according to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB). That means they experience higher poverty rates than other adults over 60 who haven’t recently lost a spouse. (1)
With Americans living longer — and facing higher risks of disability and dementia — it’s important that couples take steps to ensure both partners are capable of handling their finances solo.
“Surviving spouses are more likely to be women, over the age of 80, living alone and not currently employed,” according to the CFPB. (1)
More than half (51%) of widowed women reported financial challenges after their spouse passed away, according to a 2024 survey by Thrivent. This may be in part because 41% of the widowed women surveyed said they had not had any financial conversations or plans in place prior to their spouse passing away. (2)
So why aren’t more American couples having these conversations? According to a survey by Western & Southern Financial Group, more than half (54%) of Americans haven’t discussed end-of-life financial plans with loved ones because they found it “uncomfortable.”
Another 34% don’t know where to start with regards to having the conversation, while 32% are afraid to upset or worry family members. (3)
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In a recent Wall Street Journal article, readers shared how they’ve made efforts to prepare their partners for their passing — from survivor binders to practicing bill-paying and investing together. (4)
One reader scanned all important documents and uploaded them to Google Drive. Others have made sure their spouses have easy access to their assets through joint accounts or by setting up a revocable trust — effective because these arrangements can shelter assets from probate.
Another reader keeps three documents, updated quarterly: an outline of what to do if he becomes incapacitated or dies, a checklist of all pertinent information and contacts and a “map” of health-insurance methods he recommends. Another recorded a 20-minute video walking his spouse through their finances.
In an even more hands-on approach, one reader says he lets his wife make all financial decisions and handle taxes, with him offering suggestions only when asked.
Another reader says their adult daughters are in the loop. “We all use the same financial adviser and private banker. We always openly discuss and have every asset written down in our estate-plan binder.”
As for what the experts recommend, Thrivent suggests starting the conversation early, sharing end-of-life wishes, and ensuring both partners have access to all financial documents, including passwords. (5)
A comprehensive estate plan “includes a will, a trust and clear beneficiary designations for all assets,” Bob Chitrathorn, vice-president of wealth planning with Simplified Wealth Management, told Kiplinger. “Creating a list of important key contacts and the location of important documents can also be incredibly helpful to their family members.” (6)
This conversation — as uncomfortable as it may be — should also cover what happens if one partner experiences cognitive decline or dementia, or is otherwise unable to make decisions. That could mean updating your will and estate plan to include a durable power of attorney and a revocable living trust.
Couples can start taking steps right now to ensure their partner won’t be blindsided. That includes:
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Creating a financial inventory and keeping it updated (whether in a binder, in the cloud or both)
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Securely sharing passwords and multi-factor authentication methods
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Simplifying accounts and investment portfolios, with joint access where possible
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Providing notes or pre-recorded videos detailing shared assets
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Practicing bill-paying and tax preparation together
Working with a financial advisor — one trusted by both spouses — could be instrumental in helping the surviving spouse navigate any financial changes during an incredibly difficult time.
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Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) (1; PR Newswire (2); Western and Southern Financial Group (3); Wall Street Journal (4); PR Newswire (5); Kiplinger (6).
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
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